Letting the Past Go

For those that know me know that I am not really an open person. I will share funny things but will shy away from topics that bring up hurtful feelings from the past. I will not go into the specific details of the past experiences because that is truly personal...what I will go into is the ways that I have both dealt and not dealt with them.

I have allowed the past to truly bring me down...I constantly thought less of myself...and my sense of self worth was of little to no value. Im 38 years old and for more than 23 years I have allowed circumstances that I had no control of...to control my thoughts and actions. This is truly sad.

In April I was able to bring some closure to the past...by bringing it more into the open. Talking with the people that I have hurt and that have hurt me. Letting them understand where I was and how I was feeling. Having them understand the burden that I carried. I have built many walls in my life...some of which still stand....but not all. The ability to let go of things that ate away at me for so many years has allowed me to feel something that I have rarely felt in my life...hope.

I have made many mistakes in my life...ALL of which I take full ownership of. I am not perfect in any way shape or form. I have made mistakes in my marriage, in my divorce, work place...etc...and I own them all.

Today is a new day. I will make today a better day for both me and my keiki. If I want my future to be bright...I better damn well turn on the light and be a better father, ex-husband, brother, friend and person to all those that I come into contact with.

To my father, mother, and family...thank you for hearing me.